Update.

For starters-

I cannot thank you all enough for the support, love and understanding through this really difficult time.

What is very very frustrating and challenging for me is that, they have been able to collect data that so far correlates with some abnormalities on MRI's (my left temporal lobe continues to have spikes of electricity and activity which is where the seizure activity is thought to stem from), but without them actually watching me have a grande mal seizure- tracking EXACTLY where in the temporal lobe the incidents occur, that data is only conclusive enough to warrant an increase in current medication, rather than finding an alternative treatment.

While I am told this is very common to not have a substantial event in hospital- our bodies are trained to fight off seizures, so even without meds a seizure cannot easily be artificially created- it's like our bodies go into super defense mode- shields up. Many people in my situation take a "holiday" which is a day off the 24hour watch to trick the body into thinking the shields can go back down, and then they continue again with the same monitoring, tracking, and stimulating for another 3-7 days. 

I can't do that. I just can't. It is extremely frustrating, draining, and also physically, mentally, even spiritually exhausting- not just on me, but it is taking its toll on everyone in my life. So I have opted to have tonight be my last night of inpatient monitoring. We will give it one last go with the sleep deprivation, and if there is no major event tonight, I will discharge tomorrow. 

Assuming nothing happens tonight, I will begin my higher dosage tomorrow and I will see two doctors this week to discuss the findings more in depth--- 5days with 24hours of film/brain waves apparently is quite a lot of information to pour through, so it takes some time.

So that's where we are. I wish I could more completely express just how much I appreciate all of the kindness and support that I have received. It is quite overwhelming actually to realize just how many people really care for me. I am one fortunate soul, I will never forget that.

Morgan